DH and I decided in late October that we were open to starting a family. The whole thing seemed exciting, frightening, thrilling, scary...all at the same time!
We decided to actively start "trying" in November. I did a little bit of charting (thanks, J&M for the excellent NFP resource!), so I knew when timing might be optimal. It's amazing to suddenly start paying attention to things that never mattered before, symptoms I barely noticed previously, and feelings that I'd never experienced before now.
I took the pregnancy test one day after I was "late," and I spent the next several minutes crying in the guest bathroom as the two lines appeared. I put the stick away in a drawer, then convinced myself it was just a mirage, then pulled the stick back out to look at it again to be sure, then convinced myself it was false. Back and forth and back and forth. :)
I was crying from excitement, crying from fear, crying because I wanted so much to be pregnant, and I was crying because I was so freaked out that I might be pregnant. (Talk about jumbled emotions!)
I walked around all day on December 23rd in a state of shock.
I wanted so much to wait until December 24th, Christmas Eve, to tell DH about our positive test result. I wantd to give him a wonderful Christmas gift, that only the two of us and God would know about. But I couldn't, in good conscience, go to sleep on 12/23 not having him know what was going on.
I quickly searched through my treasured hope chest to find my tiny silver baby rattle...the one my parents had given me when I was an infant. It is tarnished, beaten and dented with tiny little teeth marks. And yet I wanted to give it to Todd as a symbol of our new, great expectation.
I wrapped the gift up, and took it downstairs that evening to give to Todd. Funny boy, he was fixated on all sorts of other things, like opening OTHER gift boxes, fixing house problems, and putting little odds and ends away. There was a gorgeous small package on the coffee table waiting for Todd to open, and yet he had a million other details he wanted to attend to. (I was so frustrated!)
Eventually, Todd got the Evil Eye from me...he knew it was time to settle down and focus on this mysterious gift box.
He opened the box, opened the tissue, and saw the baby rattle inside. A quizzical look passed his face, then he looked at me intensely and asked, "Does this mean we're...?"
"It means we're going to have a baby," I said.
Tears, shock, more tears, excitement, joy, more tears. Pure mixed emotions just as I had experienced earlier that same afternoon. But now we were sharing the rollercoaster ride, just as it should be.
And then we had to settle in to the fact that we had a Big Secret. :)
We decided to actively start "trying" in November. I did a little bit of charting (thanks, J&M for the excellent NFP resource!), so I knew when timing might be optimal. It's amazing to suddenly start paying attention to things that never mattered before, symptoms I barely noticed previously, and feelings that I'd never experienced before now.
I took the pregnancy test one day after I was "late," and I spent the next several minutes crying in the guest bathroom as the two lines appeared. I put the stick away in a drawer, then convinced myself it was just a mirage, then pulled the stick back out to look at it again to be sure, then convinced myself it was false. Back and forth and back and forth. :)
I was crying from excitement, crying from fear, crying because I wanted so much to be pregnant, and I was crying because I was so freaked out that I might be pregnant. (Talk about jumbled emotions!)
I walked around all day on December 23rd in a state of shock.
I wanted so much to wait until December 24th, Christmas Eve, to tell DH about our positive test result. I wantd to give him a wonderful Christmas gift, that only the two of us and God would know about. But I couldn't, in good conscience, go to sleep on 12/23 not having him know what was going on.
I quickly searched through my treasured hope chest to find my tiny silver baby rattle...the one my parents had given me when I was an infant. It is tarnished, beaten and dented with tiny little teeth marks. And yet I wanted to give it to Todd as a symbol of our new, great expectation.
I wrapped the gift up, and took it downstairs that evening to give to Todd. Funny boy, he was fixated on all sorts of other things, like opening OTHER gift boxes, fixing house problems, and putting little odds and ends away. There was a gorgeous small package on the coffee table waiting for Todd to open, and yet he had a million other details he wanted to attend to. (I was so frustrated!)
Eventually, Todd got the Evil Eye from me...he knew it was time to settle down and focus on this mysterious gift box.
He opened the box, opened the tissue, and saw the baby rattle inside. A quizzical look passed his face, then he looked at me intensely and asked, "Does this mean we're...?"
"It means we're going to have a baby," I said.
Tears, shock, more tears, excitement, joy, more tears. Pure mixed emotions just as I had experienced earlier that same afternoon. But now we were sharing the rollercoaster ride, just as it should be.
And then we had to settle in to the fact that we had a Big Secret. :)
3 comments:
Whoo to the frakkin' hoo! I am so honored to be the keeper of the Secret. It's nearly killing me, but I'll cope.
This is gonna sound so sappy, SCG, but I kinda feel like I've watched you grow up. (Even though you're not that much younger...well, actually you are...). I mean, you were in college when we met. I've seen you grow through that, the loss of your dad, you coming into the Church, living with the nuns, crushing on people, job searches, job changes, finding DH, your fabulous wedding and now this. It's just so awesome. You two are going to be fabulous parents and I'm just so excited to be an "auntie".
And The Child...Lord, she is gonna plotz when she finds out. She'll probably start thinking of names and start begging us to move to the northend so she can babysit more easily.
(Oh, and speaking of sitters...any time you two want a night on the town, you know where you can leave Buffy....)
Okay, I just now got caught up on all the posts that I had been uninvited from - pfffft!
Such wonderful news and such an exciting time! I LOVED LOVED LOVED being pregnant - it got better and better every day and then, when you don't think it can get any better . . . here comes your new little roommate! And then you start a whole NEW chapter of every day getting better and better because of the incredible little person you've created together!
(Okay, now I wanna go get knocked up again!)
Many blessings to you all. I will lift you up in my prayers daily.
p.s. I kept a lemon scented candle nearby whenever I felt queasy and it really helped.
Okay, I can just picture the way you had the present there and all and him not realizing, then opening it and realizing. Sooo cool! Yeah, I want another one. Mine are almost four and almost six. And I am giving my friend a baby shower next week! So, we will see all the tiny baby stuff! Yeah, I totally want another one.
Lucky.
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