I'm Going to Burst...

I am slowly...slowly...building a support network around me. It's challenging, because I am trying hard to be true to the commitment DH and I have made not to announce our news until the end of the first trimester.

We have told precisely two people about our news. My dear friend LT here in town (because I needed support from someone I could connect with on a daily basis) and my best friend KC in North Carolina. (She's practically across the nation from me, and this girl knows how to keep a secret!)

I had an email from my therapist yesterday asking me how I was doing since the wedding, letting me know she was thinking of me and DH. (She's an amazing person, I love her to bits.) I emailed her back with the news because she is always wise in her guidance, and I knew she'd have something sage for us. As well, she is a woman of deep faith. I knew that quietly sharing our news with her would garner the prayers and happy thoughts that DH and I really want right now.

She caught me by surprise with her comments:

"I know it's in vogue these days not to share the news until the end of the first trimester due to risk of miscarriage. But I think that's a mistake. A miscarriage is a death, and couples need support when they go through something like that."

Hmm...it really got me thinking.

I still don't want to tell The World what's going on, but it suddenly occured to me that Therapist might be right.

And where else could I use the support more than at work? So I told my three close friend/coworkers. B, A and M were all really excited and happy for me, and they shared my cautious optimism. B in particular, who is a new mother herself, shared her thoughts that I really have to keep my thoughts positive for the sake of the kid.

It's funny when you share some of the most important news you'll ever have to share, then immediately start crying. I'm riding the Hormone Tidal Wave in a BIG WAY right now, and the fear seems to be eclipsing everything else. Where does this come from???

DH and I made a pact last night that we're going to get back in the nightly habit of prayer. We're still forming our routines in life, having only been married about three months now. Prayer is something that's important to both of us, but it's taking more getting used to than we expected to supplement private, personal prayer with couples prayer. We're great at the dinner table, but not so good when it comes to bedtime prayer. Still growing and adapting with that...

In the meantime, I sure wish my hormones would stabilize a bit. Along with my stomach...
At the moment, I cannot stand the scent of 99.9% of the food I come across in daily life. Last night, all I wanted was cheese and Triscuits with Top Ramen. Geez, not exactly a healthful dinner. I'm just tired of the All Day Sickness.