LT had to talk me down out of a tree again for about the 50th time. Poor woman, it's a curse that she is one of the only people I've shared our news with. She's bearing the brunt of my angst right now.
Don't get me wrong...DH is an absolute dream. He always asks me how I'm feeling. He asks what he can do to help me, how he can help more around the house (which, by the way, is not humanly possible...the guy is Superman when it comes to helping me keep the house clean), how he can help with supper. He rocks, and he's my number one fan.
But still, this whole pregnancy gig, and the wicked mood swings and worrying associated with it, are something best understood by someone who's been there, done that. LT had a rockin' pregnancy, and she has been a really good guide for me these past few weeks. But she's given me the proverbial Come to Jesus regarding my worrying ways.
My faith is very important to me. God is a big part of my life, and I'm active in my faith. DH and I share a love for God and service, and we strive to grown in our faith as much as we can. But dag nabbit if I haven't decided since we got pregnant that I'm Atlas trying to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders! WHAT GIVES?
God's right here with us. God has got our back, and whatever happens with this pregnancy, it's all out of my hands. I will work hard to stay physically and emotionally healthy during this time of transition. But the end result is not mine to choose. So LT has urged me to lighten up on myself and get back to my spiritual center. And dang it all, she's so right.
I had an experience in college in which I was starting to date a boy I really, really liked. I dinstinctively remember praying for God's will to be done. And then, the guy dumped me. And ever since then, I've been afraid to pray for God's will to be done. Silly, but true. So there's a big fat hole in my faith...I'm scared of God's will.
Thank goodness I've got plenty of spiritual growing yet to do. I pray that God will give me the chance to abandon my fear in favor of peace.
1 comment:
I'll talk you down off of any ledge any time, baby!
And we'll just think of this as karmic payback. I tore my friend Teresa's ear off with my first trimester worries...it's nice to be able to give some of that comfort back!
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