I've been reluctant to address the topic of stay-at-home motherhood vs. working-away-from-the-home motherhood. It's a emotional topic, with constant media attention and public debate lately. Oprah had an episode on it recently, and I couldn't believe how snarky the SAHM's and working mom's were with one another when discussing their lifestyle choice. It irked me to no end. I mean, aren't we all women here, and haven't we and our mothers and grandmothers worked incredibly hard in order for women to have the right to make all kinds of choices about how to live their lives? The idea that women would pull one another down when discussing the most unique and important role we can have...motherhood...totally chaps my hide.
I've been on maternity leave from my career since mid-August. Bear is getting my full and undivided attention right now, as it should be. (Well, not right now, as he's currently in his bouncy seat asleep while I type this post.) It's a luxury I know not all women can afford. I feel very blessed to have this time to devote to our young family. Having your first child wrecks havoc on your body, your sleep schedule, your marriage, and your sense of self. Parenthood is totally huge.
I will be going back to work on January 2. And recently, I've been feeling all sorts of intense feelings about that date. On the one hand, I'm eager to get back to my adult world of problem solving, goal setting, achievement, and (ahem) paychecks. I love what I do, I adore the people I work with, and I know I've got a good thing going with my work. And on the other hand, I'm loving these days being at home with Bear. I love taking care of our home, I adore being able to spend time with the baby while I exercise to get back in shape, and I love being the full-time CEO of Family, Inc. It rocks my world like I never imagined it could.
I am trying to be present to this special time in my life...to enjoy the snuggles and diaper changes and afternoon naps with Bear. I know that this season will pass, and I'll be back to my desk job working on projects and cupping coffees again. I like to think that I can honor this time in my life whilst knowing that my world will be changing again when I go back to work. I have had a few meltdowns recently at the thought of sending Bear to the (superfantastic, totally amazing, top-notch) Montessori we've enrolled him in. I sometimes wish I was going to be home with him during the day instead of having to kiss him goodbye and send him to daycare with bags of breastmilk. And yet, I also know I have worked hard to get where I am in my career, and I cannot afford to let this good thing at work go just yet.
It's hard enough doing battle with myself, without watching those mothers on Oprah battling each other about their respective life choices. We all have choices to make in life, so let's just lighten up on one another, shall we?
2 comments:
Oh yeah, wouldn't sanity on this issue be refreshing? I just don't get why women have to view this as a polar opposite thing. Some choose to work outside the home and some choose to work within the home but one choice doesn't negate the other. Maybe inner voices are responsible for the anger; those who work outside feel guilty about not being home, those that work within feel judged as "less than" their peers. I only hope this issue calms down as new generations of women make these choices and see both sides of the issue.
There were some conversations on this topic on other blogs just last week. And yeah...we are supposed to have choices and should support each other in whatever choices we make.
You go.
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